Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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