hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
