A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
