I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
