Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
