I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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