Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
