just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
