By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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