Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
