you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
