so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
