Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
