i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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