So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
