Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
