the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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