I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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