The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
