first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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