I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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