Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
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