Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
