This is not my ceiling
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
