I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
