i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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