my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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