Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
