Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
