It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
