Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
