That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
