super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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