Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize