do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
