It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
