got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
When did angry sex become our thing?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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