Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
