I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
