That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize