hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
