Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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