I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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