im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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