how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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