YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
