apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
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