Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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