My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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