Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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