If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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