So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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