that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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