i just wanna soil my oats bro
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
