just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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